Category: What?

Supercategory to hold miscellaneous subject categories

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I feel redemption

You may remember my ill fated campaign to name the local State College baseball team a couple of years ago. I nominated Sliders and my idea made the cutoff from 5000 suggestions that the team received. I was pumped and started encouraging my friends to vote for Sliders in the contest. I thought I had a pretty good chance of advancing to the final round when the list was to be shortened and a re-vote held.

Not everyone saw it that way however. A writer for the local paper (not a sports reporter by the way) published the following column where he ridiculed ALL the names on the ballot. He choose my nominee for the headline of his colunn “Race for local baseball team name slow going — a turtle!” (note: Sliders is a breed of turtles – the ones that you find in pet stores are typically Slider turtles).

When the time came for the finalists to be announced, I was devastated. Not only didn’t I make the finals but NONE of the semifinalists did. The ball club threw out all seven names and came up with five new ones. What the?

Eventually, the name Spikes won out. While I thought the name was ok, I was still a firm believer that Sliders was equally good.

Now comes my redemption. Slippery Rock PA has just announced the name of their new minor league baseball team. You guessed it – the Slippery Rock Sliders. Sliders was the winning selection picked from 92 unique entries.

Here’s their logo:

I have ordered a Slider hat from their official supplier and will be wearing it proudly around town.

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Horny Manatee

Crazy story in Today’s New York Times about the wild world of the internet. A week ago, Conan O’Brien at the end of a skit about absurd college mascots adlibbed a line about one of the band members watching this a non existent web site called www.hornymanatee.com.

After taping ended around 6:30, somebody realized that the show could get into FCC trouble if somebody actually created a website of that name and put porn on it. So Conan’s team rushed off and purchased the rights to the website for $159 before the show actually aired that night.

Well now that they owned the rights they decided to do something with it so they created a porn site spoof. Given the comedic minds on the staff, it’s no surprised that the site is pretty funny. Low and behold the have an internet hit on their hands with over three million hits in the last week.

Check it out.

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African Water Hole Webcam

Click here for a live webcam that’s focussed on a water hole somewhere in Africa.

When I first went to the site about 8PM yesterday I was convinced it had to be a fake. There were literally about a hundred water buffalo wallowing in the water. I couldn’t believe the moment that I would pick the webcam would just happen to be the time the place was full of animals so I figured it had to be a tape. I kept looking at the thing trying to detect if it was looping (I also fully expected some screaming face to appear on the screen making me jump out of my chair). But it looked real to me.

I even logged off and logged back in to see if the scene would start all over anew at the beginning shot. Nope. It really did appear to be live. The shots had that eerie night vision look that’s so common on the cops and robbers reality shows but they sure seemed real.

Not wanting to look like an idiot if I immediately posted it here, I decided to wait a while and investigate a little further.

My research uncovered that it really is a live webcam. It’s located in the Sabi Sands Private Game Reserve, in South Africa. South Africa is eight hours ahead of Eastern Standard time so when I was looking at the water hole it was about 3AM. I have since learned that from that time on, i.e. the early morning hours over there, is really the best time to probably see some wildlife (second best time is supposedly around dusk).

I have gone back to the site about a half dozen times today to check it out. About half the time the camera has been on something. Once I saw a deer or antelope drinking and the camera followed him around as he nervously left the pond. The camera is obviously controlled somehow – most likely remotely (in fact I found one site that indicated that the cam could be controlled by the viewer but I haven’t found details of how that works quite yet) but the mikes sometimes pick up ambient noises that make me think that someone is there (oops – the camera just zoomed in one some birds curiously standing on one leg in the water).

I have also been able to determine that the camera is somehow affilated with the Nkorho Bush Lodge. How close the water hole is to the lodge I haven’t yet figured out.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did and let me know if you see anything unusual. I’m dying to get back on tonight but I’ll be at a basketball game during prime viewing hours.

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Fall Family Champion

There is a new champion. Ron, Steve B, Nick (Ex champion), and I played Tuesday. We had three pretty nice days of weather here. Anyway, we played a points game. Six points for low man, 4 for 2nd, 2 for 3rd and zero for 4th per hole net.

Nick started slowly taking only 2 points in the first 4 holes, but made a charge on the last 4 holes of the front nine. I believe he picked up around 17 point for those holes. He was still trailing Ron and I, but was defending valiantly. Unfortunatly, he started the back nine about the same way. With five holes to play Steve B. and Nick were pretty much out of it. I was trailing by about 5 points and could have jumped to the top of the leaderboard if I was just able to knock down a couple of putts on the next 2 holes. Too bad for me, I wasn’t up to the task. On 16 I pretty much handed the championship to Ron by knocking 2 tee shots OB, but Ron let me back in the game by moving a 20 ft chip about 1 foot. He took 3rd on the hole for 2 points. I got zero.

Two holes to play and I was down 5 points. (By the way this is all by memeory so I may be a little off.) Ron bogeys the hole to lock up 2 points. I have a 6 foot parr putt to tie Nick to give me a much needed 5 points. MISS AGAIN, DAMN. I tie Ron and we both get 3 points. I need a miracle on 18. It doesn’t happen. Ron wins and is now the proud owner of 2 shirts and a hat. We still need the 2nd shirt embroidered Ron. Congratulations to Ron.

Get ready for your chance next year boys and girls. You know you can pretty much depend on an opportunity to win this coveted title at The Battle of Battle Creek. For those not aware I beleive The Battle will become a mandatory 4 day event next year.

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We old f*rts should get a kick out of this…

The Penn State Nittany Lion has earned himself a local reputation for some of the dances skits that he puts on every now and then during timeouts at the football games. Last year he had two that were classics that the student went absolutely nuts over. One was Nittany Dynamite, a reenactment of the dance sequence from Napoleon Dynamite. The other was Michael Jackson’s Thriller, which he did with a couple of Penn State Blue Band members.

Two weeks ago, he managed to top himself. His bit was called “The History of Dance” and a dozen or so dance steps that I’m sure we all can remember well. The video in this piece is much better than the others. The professionals have gotten wise and when the Lion comes out on the field during a timeout they have their cameras ready now. To see the “The History of Dance” click here, then choose “Lion Dance” on the right hand side.

So how many songs and dance steps did you recognize?

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NEW Fall Family Champion

Sorry this has taken a while to get to all of you. As you are all aware Ron is not the Fall Family Champ and neither am I.

Nick and I played about 4 weeks ago. Since Nick had not played all year, and if you’ve ever seen his game, I figured match play a stroke a hole would be pretty easy for me to retain my title. Well, unfortunatly, I was wrong. I beleive the final was something like 6 and 5. He shot 103. I shot 94. His 103 wasn’t a real indication of how well he shot during the match play. Once he had it won he wasn’t quite as focused as he was on the first 12 holes. He should have broken 100 easy.

Anyway, he has both the shirts and the hat. I have tried unsuccesfully to get another match this year, but Nick is going to school full time and putting in about 25-30 hours a week at IKEA. By the way, his emploeyee discount is 15% if anyone was to take advantage.

Since the weather is changing rapidly I beleive Nick will have this title into 2007. Get your plans together now to challenge him before Battle Creek or we may not have our tournament in a tournament event next year.

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Utah Jazz

A friend of mine may soon show up in Kenny’s neck of the woods. Tyler Smith, a former Penn State basketball player, just made the Utah Jazz’s 18 man training camp roster (the Jazz camp doesn’t start until Monday and the roster won’t officially be announced until then).

Tyler is from the Chicago area. He played for Lake Forest High School graduating in 1998. He played four years at Penn State graduating in 2002. For the last few years he has been bouncing around the hinterlands of the pro basketball world pursuing his dream of playing in the NBA. Last year he played for a team in Peru.

Somewhat unbelieveably he’s close to making his dream happen. Tyler is the last guy you would ever expect to be an NBA player. Not only is Penn State not known for producing basketball stars, Tyler wasn’t even a star on PSU’s team. He didn’t become a full time starter until his junior year when he was the fourth leading scorer on the team (the team was pretty good though – making it to the Sweet Sixteen in the NCAAs).

As a senior, Tyler was the third leading scorer on the team averaging about 12 points per game but the team was really bad (we went 7-21 and the coach was fired at the end of the year). Tyler’s list of Penn State basketball awards consisted of winning the team’s Scrappiest Player and Unsung Hero Awards at their post season banquet not exactly the type awards to build you an NBA portfolio (actually he also was a three time Academic All B10 player but academic awards don’t get you to the NBA either). On top of that, he was white man’s disease, i.e. he can’t jump.

He is a smart gutty team player though. He was a 6’8″ power forward at Penn State with a soft shooting touch. He’s worked very hard on his jump shot and can not hit it pretty well from NBA range.

His saga of how he wound up with the Jazz is pretty interesting. As I said Tyler played in Peru last year but foreign basketball contracts are strictly on a year by year basis. Tyler went to a west coast open tryout camp last month where he played exceptionally well. At the camp, he was invited to hang around for a second week for a tryout camp that a bunch of Chinese teams were having. Chinese teams are allowed to have two foreign players on the roster. Tyler excelled at the camp and was named to the camp’s all star team. Then came draft day when the Chinese teams held a draft to populate their squads. As a result of his camp, Tyler fully expect to be drafted in the first round. Nope. In fact, he slipped all the way to the 2nd pick of the third round. Bad news, because only players in the first two rounds get those guaranteed Chinese contracts. Tyler was extremely disappointed.

Right after the camp was over, Tyler was called aside by Rick Barry (yup, the Rick Barry) who was running the camp. Barry told him that the Chinese teams were under orders from management back home to bring in big black guys not white one. So Tyler is a victim of racial discrimination. However, that’s when the good news happened. Barry told Tyler he thought he had NBA level skills and would make some contacts to see if he could arrange a tryout. True to his word, Barry called a couple of days later and said he had arranged a tryout with the Jazz. Tyler went to the tryout last week with three other guys and at the end of the tryout Tyler was signed to the Jazz’s practice squad.

He doesn’t have the team made yet (the Jazz are taking 18 players to camp but can only keep 15) but he’s got a chance which is more than he thought just a month ago.

So Ken, if you see a tall white guy that looks like this:

tell him you are a real relative of Uncle Larry.

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I’m dead

evidently.

A week ago Saturday, I ran into a couple of my old college roommates, “Doc” Scarborough and Dave Hannum, down at the Tavern after the football game. In the course of our conversation, Doc said to me “Well, it’s good to confirm with my own eyes that you’re still alive”.

When I gave him kind of an inquisitive look he said “Didn’t you know that the Penn State Alumni Assocation published an obituary notice about you in their magazine a few months ago?” Doc added that he was shocked to see it and had emailed Dave about it. Dave replied back to him that he had just seen me a few weeks before and that I looked “remarkably healthy for a dead guy”.

That comment got me thinking. I hadn’t remembered getting the Alumni magazine recently and I had just received a bill from the Alumni Association for annual membership fees even though I am a paid up lifetime member. I jokingly told Doc that maybe the Alumni Association had killed me off to void my liftime membership so they could get me to rejoin.

I called the Alumni Assocation to get to the bottom of the issue last week. They told me that I had received the “dues notification” because I wasn’t flagged on their records as being a lifetime member. When I complained that I’ve been a member for over 20 years, they went into my detailed records and where able to find my payment so they adjusted my membership status.

When I suggested that perhaps the “obituary notice” might have been the cause of my getting dropped from the roles, the representative responded that my old roommate must have been mistaken because there was no indication on my record that I was deceased. When I replied that while I doubted that he had made a mistake, I couldn’t confirm it because I hadn’t been receiving my issues of the Alumni magazine. The rep offered to send me the last few back issues.

Those back issues arrived this weekend and I just got a chance to go through them. Sure enough, in the issue from last March, there I appear in their “In Memoriam” section.

What’s interesting is that I’m listed with our old Rolling Meadows address even though I’ve never lived there. What’s doubly interesting is that, even though I haven’t been getting the Alumni Magazine, I’ve continue to get all sorts of other mailings from them. Also, their online information about me has been correct because I check it every now and then. Strange indeed. I doubt I’ll ever get to the bottom of how it happened but I will be asking them to correct my obit.

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My recovery continues

Played 18 on Friday with no problems with the knee during the round. It was a little sore Friday evening but nothing too bad so I decided to play in the senior club championship afterall.

Seedings in the tournament are by handicap following the defending champ who gets the #1 seed. I was seeded seventh which meant that I had to play the #2 seed, the lowest handicapped player in the tournament.

I played as well as I have in a long time and had my opponent on the ropes for most of the match. I opened up with a par and a birdie and quickly went up 2 holes. My opponent fought his way back and managed to tie the match by the seventh hole when he executed a beautiful sand save for a par. I failed to get up and down from about three feet off the back of the green when I missed a five footer for my par.

On the eighth hole, I went one down when I was overly agressive on a downhill 12 footer to win the hole. I slid about four feet past the hole and missed the comeback putt.

My par on nine evened the match when my opponent failed to get up and down from the back fringe of the green. I wound up shooting a 41 for the nine.

Another par on the par three tenth put me one up when my opponent once again failed to get up and down from off the green. The next three holes were all halved with a bogey and two pars so going into 14 I still held onto a one hole lead.

The 14th is a long par five and I laced a drive just into the right hand rough while my opponent wound up in a fairway bunker so I felt comfortably in control. He did manage to advance the ball about 150 yards with a decent recovery shot. I good lie but a downhill stance but as I swung my right foot slipped right out from under me. I only advanced the ball about 40 yards still in the rough. I was about 250 out but the ball was sitting up in the rough so I decide to take an aggressive cut at the ball. Bad move. The ball went off of the toe of the club deep into impenetrable brush and trees to the right. I had to take an unplayable and the hole was basically lost right there as my opponent made par.

That evened the match up but my confidence was gone. I staggered over the next three holes with a bogey, double bogey, double bogey and my opponent went par, bogey, par to close me out 3-1.

All in all, I was pretty happy with my play though. For 13 holes, I was just six over, which is as well as I’ve played in a long time. Plus, the best part was that the knee held up just fine so it looks like I can get back to my normal 5 rounds or so a week.